Fidgety Foots

Ingredients:

Rabid tree-hugger. Identifying traits: Horror of disposables, electricity, gasoline, long showers, meat. Reduces, reuses, recycles (in that order). Overwhelming urge to evangelize and proselytize, disdain for lesser mortals who haven’t seen the eco-light.

Rabid libertarian. Identifying traits: Believes in personal freedom which stops short of one’s nose, bristles when given advice, expects nothing of other people except to be left alone. Libertarian Utopia is society with no laws, where individual consciences keep people from tearing each other to bits.

Mix in unequal parts = me.

How do I deal with it? Illogically, inconsistently and comfortably.

I wont be a martyr to either half, so I carry plastic bags to the grocery store, take long, luxurious showers, carpool when I can, tell people what to do when the hormones take me, sometimes even listen to advice. And never do this in the same order twice.

The FDA has approved meat and milk from cloned animals. The ensuing broo-hahahahaha entertains - this is one issue where hippies and religious activists agree.

What I’d like to see is a process that ‘grows’ meat. Can you imagine the market for that? Vegetarians of the environmental and humane variety will flood the steakhouses.